


Operation Pokemon Go: What kind of Pokemon hides in Patchwork Lab?

by DemonOfTheBattlefield



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Characters Playing Pokemon GO, Chemistry gone definitely wrong, F/M, Marie is a little shit but I love her for it, Pokemon Go AU, Poor Stein, Shibusen | DWMA, Shinigami, Spirit is in trouble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonOfTheBattlefield/pseuds/DemonOfTheBattlefield
Summary: Hello everyone! You all surely know the infamous Pokémon Go, right? I tried to imagine what would happen if Spirit suddenly fell in love with this game and tried to involve Stein by playing in his laboratory while he is carrying out some very delicate (and potentially explosive) chemical experiments. Do you think Dr. Stein will be able to avoid a nervous breakdown when his students are obsessed with it too, or will he seek revenge on the poor Spirit who caused it? And will the latter be able to survive or at least avoid therapy? "Ai posteri l'ardua sentenza".In the hope of making you laugh or at least make you smile =)AU due to the presence of the Pokémon Go game and not set at any precise moment in history: the co-presence of Marie and Medusa (still at Shibusen as a doctor) is my personal poetic license.(Translation from an old fanfiction of mine published on the Italian site)
Relationships: Marie Mjolnir & Franken Stein, Spirit Albarn | Death Scythe & Franken Stein, one-sided Medusa Gorgon/Franken Stein
Kudos: 2





	Operation Pokemon Go: What kind of Pokemon hides in Patchwork Lab?

**Author's Note:**

> No beta-reader to speak of - we die like men  
> I own nothing and nobody in this story but the plot idea.

It was a quiet day at Patchwork Lab: Marie had just returned from Shibusen and was starting dinner preparations while Dr. Stein was engaged in an important (highly explosive) chemical bonding experiment that required his utmost attention. A normal day, then. Yet there was one thing that could be said to disturb the dark stillness of that place and this was shaped like a certain Death Scythe:  
-STEEIIINN! - the newcomer suddenly shouted, startling the poor scientist who accidentally dropped two drops of an explosive element into the beaker, barely having time to curse before the chemical reaction exploded in his face.  
-Stein! Stein! Your laboratory is fantastic, look what I found- Spirit Albarn said enthusiastically entering his ex partner's laboratory, too focused on the bright screen of his new ipad to notice the smoke of the explosion in the room or the murderous aura that surrounded Stein at the idea of dissecting his unfortunate friend from head to toe for ruining his experiment. However, Spirit apparently still possessed his formidable instinct for self-preservation and opted not to get too close to the German scientist or to immediately show him what he had found on the iPad.  
-Spirit, explain to me for Shinigami's sake what the hell are you doing in my lab with that thing?! - he was doing his best to remain patient as he pointed to the electronic disaster (for him) that Marie had forced him to give Spirit for Christmas.  
-Simple, I play Pokèmon Go! - was the Scythe’s reply, with a beaming smile and a proud squeeze on the electronic device for all the Pokemon he had managed to capture.  
-Pokemon Go- Stein repeated flatly.  
-Yup! Do you know it? It is a very funny game in which you practically go around with one of these devices equipped with augmented reality and then, bla bla bla ... - he continued to explain, delighted that his friend was interested in his new passion.  
"I must have exaggerated with the experiments on the nervous system, the growth rate of his stupidity is considerably above average", thought Stein with a tired sigh, placing his now broken glasses on his desk and rubbing his temples with the other hand. Looking up he noticed that neither the stupid smile on Spirit's face nor his passionate speech had faded and decided that the fastest way to get rid of him (dissection aside) was to indulge him. At worst, he thought, he still had a couple of vials of chloroform as a last resort.  
-… and once found you can use the pokeballs to capture them. Isn't that wonderful?  
-Yes, yes, fantastic- Stein answered, trying as much as possible to be credible to convince Spirit to let him return to his experiments as soon as possible.  
-Do you really think so? - the stars in Spirit's eyes were ridiculous in the eyes of Stein, who was very thankful his poor vision showed him only blurry clouds of unholy liveliness, but nevertheless nodded.  
-Yes yes, wonderful. Indeed, why not also explain it to Marie, who has been looking for information on this famous game for days - suggested Stein, who could no longer wait to return to his work and was desperately looking for a way to disconnect from his new sofa the Scythe of Death, who had moved there on a permanent basis since he started talking: that is, since he entered. It was Marie's timely entry into the room that saved him.  
-Franken, what happened in here? I heard a bang before and I worried ... hahaha! - she said before bursting out laughing when, after entering all out of breath, she noticed the exasperated scientist covered in soot and blackness (probably the result of the bang) and Spirit Albarn sprawled on the sofa all excited talking non-stop about she didn't know what.  
-Don't worry, Marie, nothing happened- Stein answered, ignoring her laughter and trying to make her understand with his dangerously twitching eyes that if she didn't take Spirit to at least ten meters away from him as soon as possible, the great Shinigami would have to find a new favorite weapon.  
-Ehm, what are you playing, Spirit? - Marie tried, who had caught the allusion and wanted to save the life of her colleague Death Scythe.  
-Pokemon Go! Have you heard of it? Stein told me that for days you were looking for information on this game ... - Marie's gaze headed skeptically towards the meister who limited himself to a shrug and she sighed- ... so if you want I can teach you, what do you think? - Spirit asked, jumping off the sofa and placing the iPad in the thin hands of the blonde girl.  
\- I think it's a good idea. Let's go to the kitchen, however, so we also take the opportunity to eat something- Marie proposed with a bright smile that, combined with the mention of the verb “eat”, immediately convinced Spirit to follow her, leaving only Stein in the room.  
-Ah, and close the door when you leave!- was the only thing the scientist said before returning to his work table with a light push to his trusty mobile chair. When he no longer heard the footsteps of the two death scythes he sighed, especially since their absence was not followed by the sound of the door lock.  
-Those two will drive me crazy sooner or later- said the meister in a low voice, affectionately, before returning to his beloved chemistry, rearranging the substances he was working with before in a new beaker (the other was still lying in pieces of next to the lamp).  
...  
...  
-Okay, now let's add a drop of this acid and it will be almost perfect- the German scientist exclaimed with an exalted smile on his face. "Where did I leave the dropper?" he thought, going to look for it in the cabinet near the desk and after filling it with the desired acid, placed it exactly at the height of the ampoule, with the utmost firmness.  
-MARIE, come soon I found a Gengar! - Spirit shouted again, reentering the room without any delicacy, if the scream and the noisy impact of the door against the wall were any indication and starting to wander around the room with his iPad in hand while Marie followed the game behind him. "Dear me, he cretinized her too," Stein sighed, turning the screw a couple of times in his head and trying to focus again on the reaction he had been trying to achieve for at least a quarter of an hour and not on that irritating coming and going behind his back.  
-Come on Spirit, he should be here somewhere! - the woman encouraged him, who was getting a taste of following the weapon in his enthusiastic race through the gloomy laboratory where every now and then he shouted things like "You won't escape me!" or "I'm going to be the best Pokemon hunter in the world" while trying not to stumble across the mess of Stein's lab. Stein who was really scraping every ounce of his self-control to ignore the spasmodic desire to have a scalpel in his hands and whose vein on his forehead seemed ready to explode from nervousness.  
Marie noticed it and just smiled, after all it was certainly not an everyday thing to see the icy Doctor Stein in those conditions and now it certainly was not for an attack of Madness! Besides, she had no reason to stop Spirit: first, Franken deserved it for having dropped Spirit on her and second, it was too funny to see how Spirit's enthusiasm was directly proportional to Stein's irritation. She almost laughed, seeing how the scientist tried to breathe deeply a couple of times, counted to a hundred, suppressed nervous tics in the eye and hands, now too little still to continue his work and shaked his head as if to chase away some thought (probably something extremely dangerous for the redhead, who obliviously went back and forth like a madman behind him). Stein, in fact, finally let out an exasperated sigh, turned the screw in his head a couple of times to calm himself, making the two weapons shiver, and added to his mental reminders to build a trap door at the entrance, since apparently the sign "Go away, unless you want to donate your body to science" placed in front of the gate wasn’t enough to keep away some irritating guests.  
Alias Spirit Albarn.  
\- FOUND!!! - Spirit yelled, joyfully jumping as Stein tried to keep his hand as still as possible to put only two drops and no more of muriatic acid in his solution, already suspecting it was a bad idea. The redhead, in fact, for the enthusiasm and the poor light did not see the pile of books on the floor and, stumbling, bumped into Stein's chair that losed his balance and poured all the drops of acid on the table, now decorated with a large circular hole.  
-SPIRIT !! - Stein shouted, well beyond the limit of his already poor patience, slamming his fists on the table (Marie would not have approved if he had used Spirit's face as a target) and turning to his terrified friend.  
-Ehm, what is it, Stein? - Spirit asked trying to pretend nothing happened, despite the fact that at that outburst he hid with a very unmanly cry behind Marie's back. Forgetting that with she being about fifty centimeters shorter than him he was still perfectly visible to the scientist's bloodshot eyes.  
-Do you realize what you have done?! - he shouted, still strongly pissed off, pointing to his now dissolved and useless work table. Spirit raised his head slightly from behind Marie's shoulder and didn't even dare smile at the sight of that disaster (he had every intention of keeping his head attached to his neck).  
-Well, if you want-you want to buy it back- he tried, but that murderous look did not soften even a little. Stein still seemed on the verge of dissecting him, and not even Marie, who remained silent enjoying the scene, seemed to care too much about helping him.  
-But at least I found it! -Spirit suddenly said, placing the iPad screen with the image of the captured Gengar a few centimeters from Stein's face, who threw a scalpel at him who knows where to just as many centimeters from his face, causing a hysterical and too high-pitched cry.  
\- OUT OF HERE! -  
He didn't wait for him to repeat it twice.  
  
************************************  
  
Shibusen Infirmary, that same afternoon ...  
  
“It's useless, that game haunts me” Stein thought on the verge of hysterics, his head almost nervously pressed to his desk. Spirit wasn't enough, now even his students were obsessed with that evil game! They had done nothing but whisper about it for the duration of his last four lessons, which required much of his sanity (and a whole set of surgical scalpels) to continue explaining. Especially when a boy asked if hunting Kishin's eggs was like hunting for Pokemon. The class had erupted in a series of uncontrolled laughter and it was a miracle that student hadn’t become his lesson subject in the place of that stupid bird on the verge of extinction. At that thought, he banged his head on the desk a couple of times, emitting a grunt of exasperation for the migraine that didn’t seem to vanish. And to think that that day he didn't even have his dear cigarettes to help him release the tension, since Marie had rightly forced him to stop, saying that if he were a real doctor he would know that those demonic objects will kill him.  
Another grunt, followed by yet another skull on the desk.  
-Hey hey, how much energy. If you continue like this, I'll have to call the furniture maker for another table – Medusa joked, who as soon as she entered had immediately smiled at the sight of the exasperated scientist on the other side of the room. - Is there something that worries you? Or are you just looking for a way to speed up the process of spreading your madness?  
-Very funny, Doctor Medusa- replied the scientist, sarcastic even with his head resting on the wood and the gray hair that prevented her from seeing his expression.  
-Oh, come on, Stein. What's the problem? - she asked while approaching the scientist, in a sweet tone very similar to the one people used when dealing with a stubborn child. In fact, Stein neither answered nor moved by a single millimeter from his position, although Medusa could almost feel the bones of his body begging for mercy for the posture they were forced to sustain. Realizing it, she smiled and tried again, this time gently stroking the meister's shoulders with her fingertips to relieve the tension, but what he got was just an inarticulate moan.  
-Don't you really want to tell me? You know that it hurts to hold back and then, pull yourself up, you will break your back if you continue to stay bent on the table- she went on with the kindest tone she could modulate and (he was surprised to find) genuine concern. The biggest surprise, however, was that her words had just the desired effect.  
-That damn game ... it's driving me crazy- the answer was said in such a low tone that Medusa had to bend down to hear it. It was almost as if he were ashamed to admit to someone that the “fearsome Doctor Stein” could be so upset by a simple video game and this thought made the witch's smile even wider.  
-What game? Don't you mean the infamous Pokemon Go, do you?- she asked with a forcibly shocked expression to tease him a little and Stein nodded albeit still reluctantly. As much as she joked about it, she actually understood the man's exasperation very well since when Elka decided to teach Crona how to play while she was meditating, it wasn't even 5 minutes before she pulverized it with her Vector Arrow.  
-Hey, I understand you, you know? - continued the witch turned nurse, finally going to sit on the desk in front of the doctor and reluctantly removing her hand from his shoulder. She also pretended not to notice the skeptical look he gave her, continuing her speech. -Yes, it really is a nerve-wracking game for those like us who are subject to those who use it.  
-But very funny for those who play it- retorted the scientist, thinking back to the stupid but happy smile on his ex partner's face as he walked back and forth in his laboratory with that awful videogame in hand, although he was certain that one of the main sources of fun was the chance to exhaust him with it.  
-Ah, I don't care that others play it, it's none of my business after all, but I need a way to dissuade Spirit from invading my lab for a simple digital hunt! - Stein's statement was accompanied by a slight eye twitch at the very thought. -He blew up an experiment in my face! - he continued, putting his hands to his hair, without realizing that this particular nervous breakdown was making him say details that he would probably be ashamed of later and had the confirmation when he heard Medusa laugh genuinely .  
-Oh, poor Stein, this is really driving you crazy. Well, if you want to get rid of it, you can try: who knows, maybe delete his game data, stop him from playing or show him your interest in the subject so after a while he will stop talking about it- Medusa suggested and, while watching that thoughtful expression, she realized that if she concentrated enough she could almost hear the sound of the gears turning in the man's twisted mind, until she was awakened from her thoughts by the sound of a demonic, (to her) wonderful laugh that didn't foreshadow nothing good for poor Spirit.  
-Stein?  
-You are a genius, Medusa! - said the scientist, jumping up and even hugging the woman still sitting on the desk for the euphoria brought by the cruel, diabolical idea that she had inadvertently suggested to him. Medusa didn't even have time to realize what had happened (or curse herself for allowing her face to blush) that he had already disappeared into the hallway, grinning like the sadistic madman he was and fantasising about how Spirit would "appreciate" his interest and then wondering where he had left scalpels and forceps. They would have been very useful for the surprise he had in mind ...  
  
**********************************  
  
Albarn’s house, that same evening ...  
  
-What a bad day, guys- Spirit commented to the emptiness of his apartment as if the latter had been an old trusted friend, entering the house and automatically putting down his jacket without even turning on the light.  
-First I risk losing a couple of organs at Stein’s just because I wanted to play at his house (although I have to admit it was fun to mess up his experiments), then a death scythe reunion about Shinigami knows what and finally -his eyes began to fill with tears at the very thought- Maka, MY Maka, talking about those horrible things with that cheese-cutter of a thug sickle! - he ended up screaming without even noticing it with tears in his eyes and lips quivering for one of his notorious crying fits which were comical and dramatic in a way that only Spirit could manage to do.  
-Don't worry Maka, Dad won't let you hear such terrible words like "engagement" from that Soul again! Your father will always be next to you to preserve your innocence! - He promised, rising from the ground with a determined expression that only a father who believes he is right can have. What he doesn't know is that by now Maka will be sharpening his encyclopedia for the Maka-Chops, but maybe it's better not to tell him.  
Either way, Spirit made his way to the kitchen door, turned on the light, and placed the shopping bags on the table as he always did, but this time he was surprised to see a small wrapped box peeking out exactly in the center of the checkered tablecloth.  
-What's this? I don't remember having ordered anything and then, it's not even my birthday! - he exclaimed, trying to think of a possible reason why someone could have sneaked into his house and deposited a box on his kitchen table. He thought about it for a couple of minutes, but then shook his head and noticed the unmistakable style of the gift card. White with twisted serrated black lines, sutures presumably.  
Stein.  
At the thought, he didn't know whether to be more pleased or scared at the idea that his friend had decided to give him a gift. Knowing the scientist, he decided to opt for the latter and carefully took the red ticket at the top of the box.  
"<> Spirit,  
I wanted to apologize for being so rude to you the last time you came to my laboratory and I wanted to show you that the game you were talking about piqued my interest in the best possible way. I found that the world of Pokemon fascinates me right in its heart, in its essence and I wanted to share it with you. I hope you like it. (why did that terrifying sadistic grin of his give Spirit chills even while reading?)  
Franken Stein "  
Now he was definitely sure that he should start worrying and a lot too. Franken Stein never apologized, ever, let alone with him or for something he was absolutely convinced he was right.  
-Breathe, Spirit, breathe. Even if you know your panic attack is perfectly justified, you need to calm down and breathe. You just got a gift from Stein with a creepy note to say the least, but it can't be that bad can it? It's the fact that the highlighter on the word "heart" made your blood run cold doesn't mean you need to be afraid of it. So now play the man and open this box! - he imposed himself, with a resolute expression and a "Show Maka that her Daddy is no longer afraid of that sadistic madman", but it didn't last long because immediately after hearing him the grisly creak of that lid as he lifted it, he drew his hand back and shouted, "Yeah, I'm afraid of it!" with a tone a couple of octaves higher than he would have liked.  
However, after a couple of minutes and several attempts at self-control, he was finally able to take the lid off and visualize what its contents were. Then, Spirit raised his head, saw what was in the box, whitened to the tip of his hair and barely had time to think about throwing the box and its contents (especially its contents) into the special and/or radioactive waste of Death City before he had the only brave reaction he could think of.  
-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! -  
And passed out.  
...  
...  
-Ah, music to my ears! - Stein sang in a low voice, happy as a child after hearing the terrified and very high-pitched scream that had just torn apart the entire Death City and which meant only one thing to him: -Spirit has received my gift- he deduced with the most sadistic smile he had ever had, as he continued his frenetic rhythm on the computer keyboard, where he was writing the lesson plan.  
-I'm only sorry I coudn’t witness the scene- he whispered then, still grinning, but in a higher tone this time, so much so that Marie heard him from the other room and as expected, after a few seconds:  
-Have you said something, Franken? - she asked a little worried hearing him talk to himself and laugh, usually the classic signs of his fits of madness.  
\- Nothing, Marie. Don't worry- he said to reassure her but he didn’t stop his frenzied giggles. He was looking forward to meeting Spirit on Monday and witnessing his traumatized reaction first-hand.  
That should have taught him a lesson.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I already said this is a translation from a fanfiction I wrote roughly 4 years ago when I fell in love with this manga (what meeting people at cosplay conventions does to you, lads!). At the time I didn't even know how this nonsense came to my mind, only that it was my sister's fault in some way. You might say she was Spirit and I Stein then! It was kind of crazy ...  
> What do you think, should we list Pokémon too between endangered species now that Stein is interested in them?  
> Bets are open on what Stein's gift may have been!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story =). Please, don't be shy, let me know if there is something to improve or if it's okay. It would make me very happy. See ya!


End file.
